June 20, 2018


Dude, today was probably the biggest emotional roller coaster that I hopefully will never have to deal with again. I spilled the beans about my career change from nursing to programming to my boss this morning after my shift. The period from about 3am to 8am (the time she was supposed to come in), my stomach was in frantic knots. I thought I was going to be screamed at for wanting to bump my hours down. I thought I was going to be judged for wanting out of nursing. I thought I was going to be burning bridges for life, yo. But she was totally fine. Like she was better than fine. Like creepy fine. She said “Yes, get out there and explore while you’re young…but if you do this course in July, you will have to quit.” Shit…. wait quit? She explained that she would have preferred that I communicated my career change thoughts to her at least a month ago so she could’ve actually helped me. She’s all for me going out and doing something I love, but I can’t wait until the last second and expect there to be no consequences. GOD DAMNIT, I FELT SO ENCOURAGED…and like such an idiot. This stupid two-year contract to my unit that I have been putting SO MUCH WEIGHT ON FOR ALL MY DECISIONS IN CAREERS, she didn’t even give a shit about it.

She did not give a single piece of fecal matter.

And I assumed I needed to keep a career change as a huge fucking secret until everything was all in place and there was no backing out. Thanks google.com for giving me false information on that one. It most definitely should not have been a secret. Wow. Today I learned that honest communication of my feelings is beneficial. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW OH MY GOD.

So my solution – as she and I discussed – would be to aim for the October start date for my programming class, rather than the one in three weeks. Then I can do whatever the fuck I want without consequences at my current job, have extra cash money in my wallet, and overall have less stress doing it. The only drawback is that I won’t be nearly as likely to get into my dream company right off the bat. I emailed the admissions guy (again…I’ve changed my start date technically three times now so we’ll see how he reacts to this doozie).

OKAY, I’m celebrating Derek’s birthday and meeting my future roommate in a few hours so I NEED SLEEP. BYE.


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