July 20, 2018

The past couple days have been a little hectic and I totally missed writing yesterday, but eh. Fuck it. I want to share a little summary because I had so much fun last night.

James and I went to the drag bar. Just he (she) and I. Almost literally. I mean there was literally one other paying customer there, and then 7 or 8 actual drag performers. LOL. I could not believe how few people were there, but we still had a fucking blast. It was almost more intimate, actually interacting more with the performers, and also James (aka Katie at this time) actually got out there and danced – which is huge for her. It’s been really hard for her to get out of her shell in public (understandably). So yeah, last night was phenomenal.

I realized that it was kinda a weird situation all around. I talked about last night with my sister, Christine, today. Not only was it a shock that James enjoys cross-dressing (I could’ve sworn I told her that before hmmmm), but I realized it sounded weird that I was hanging out with him alone at a bar lol. I guess in my mind, it felt like a girl’s night if anything hahaha. Plus, James has been one of my best friends for a very long time, so my boyfriend didn’t give a shit lol.

ANYWAY, I want to talk briefly about today as well. Today, among the many times I woke up throughout the day (ahhh hangovers…), I noticed that I got my pre-work email for my programming class!!! I NEED TO START THAT! I HAVE THREE WEEKS TO FINISH!!!! AHHH I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

Finally, I officially woke up to get ready for my sister’s best friend’s wedding reception. I met Derek there after he got off work. Damn, was it beautiful. I mean that whole-heartedly. It was absolutely gorgeous. The venue was actually basically a huge barn at an automotive proving grounds location. The people were friendly, the music selection was perfect, the daddy-daughter dance bit made me fucking bawl (not that this is unusual lol), the bar was most definitely open, and the FOOD. OH MY GOD, THE FOOD!

After my hangover this morning, I wasn’t planning to drink at all. But that changed with a little peer pressure from my family and Derek hahaha. Derek was LIT. He was out there dancing his fucking heart out. I’m always the one out there dancing non-stop when it comes to weddings/parties/dancing that involves alcohol. So, I wanted to be on his level, AT LEAST. So I drank one drink…Then another…….hmm….then another….nothing. I felt nothing. What the hell, I ordered a rum and diet. I watched the bartender pour both ingredients. I ordered yet another. Nada. So I gave up on drinking and tried to suck it up and pretend to suppress my inhibitions. My liver must have been in overdrive from last night.

Alcohol is a very interesting substance. It’s definitely a tool for me in situations where I tend to lack confidence – usually when I’m dancing or meeting a large amount of people. It’s so weird to me how alcohol makes these things (that would normally cause anxiety) effortless. I often wonder if there’s a way to hone that skill without drinking at all. It would definitely be cheaper…and better for my liver…and way better for weight control. That’s something I plan to work on.

Anyway. I had a great time dancing with my parents, Derek and Christine 🙂 We took some bomb-ass pictures too. There was even an after party in the hotel lobby. I went to that, and we learned how to play peeknuckle…pinuckle? That one card game that’s like euchre. I’m not a huge fan of card games, but I sat down and learned for the first game. My Peeknuckle mentor wanted me to play the second game by myself, just guided by him… but I really didn’t want to play. I really don’t like card games. I think it’s because I’m not a competitive person. But I was really proud of myself because usually I would’ve just played another round to make him happy – but I told him no, I’d rather spectate. He tried to change my mind, but I was firm. I was really proud of myself for being honest about what I wanted.

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